A few weeks ago I wrote a post about the things I would tell newly diagnosed Type 1 Diabetic (Read the Part 1 post Here ). While that original post came from a place of strength and understanding, this post comes from a place of humor. In this post, Dear Newly Diagnosed Type 1 Diabetic, Diabetes Can Be Funny, I want to share with you 8 laughable inside jokes that show the lighter side of this disease.
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Dear Newly Diagnosed Type 1 Diabetic,
Welcome to the Type 1 Diabetic Club, a place where we laugh about bleeders, juice boxes and airport security. While this disease brings endless frustration and fears, these inside jokes will remind you that it is ok to laugh at this new life you now live.
1. You Will Find Test Strips In Weird Places
There will be mornings when you wake up with a test strip stuck to your leg. You will find test strips in every corner of your car, and there is a very good chance your husband will find one at work with no logical explanation for how it made the journey. In addition, you will also get very excited when you see someone else’s test strip in a parking lot, hiking trail, or amusement park. They are like a T1D’s way of telling the world we were here and we left our mark.
2. Small Children Will Stare At You (And Mis-Mannered Adults Too)
The first time you go to a swimming pool or the beach with an insulin pump it will take a small child less than five minutes to spot you and stare at you like you have a third arm. Standing in line for a waterside is a fantastic time for people to get a good long look at all the crazy stickers you hav attached to you. If only I could read minds, I would love to know the possible scenarios they concoct. (PS telling a kids you are a robot is a perfectly acceptable explanation)
3. You Will Be Sent Every Miracle Cure Known To Man By Well Meaning Family Members
Lets just clear this all up right now. No amount of cinnamon, okra, or vitamins will jump start your pancreas and make the diabetes go away. Similarly, these caring individuals will attempt to make you “diabetic friendly” desserts. Let me save your tastebuds by telling you that the “diabetic” cheesecake is not worth the effort. I feel like there should be a card that you can hand out when you first tell people you have Type 1. Perhaps something like this…
4. Your Life Will Be Saved More Than Once By A Juice Box Or A Bowl Of Cereal.
It’s 3:00pm, you are home alone and you just finished cleaning the house from top to bottom. Your unrelenting drive to get the job done has led you to a low blood sugar and sent you to the kitchen to literally recover from cleaning your own house. It is in these moments when your vision is going blurry and you are breaking out in a dripping cold sweat that a juice box will become an oasis and a bowl of cereal your sure thing to make you feel better. The taste of apple juice will be a sweet relief that a non diabetic will never understand.
5. When You Are Low, Eating An Entire Box Of Cereal Seems Logical And Reasonable
Yes you will be saved from a low blood sugar by a juice box but it is highly unlikely that you will resist the urge to over treat your low every single time. More often than not, the panic of a low blood sugar will make you feel like one small bowl of cereal or one small cup of juice couldn’t possibly be enough. If left untamed, the eating machine that is a low blood sugar could easily consume your entire fridge. Beware, the low blood sugar eating machine is very real. Keep your wits about you and fight the urge to pour milk directly into the box of cereal and chomp down every bit.
6. T1D Will Teach You To Find Any Kitchen In The Dark.
This goofy disease seems to take issue with people getting too many nights of solid sleep. Everything will be going so well for a stretch and then, many times for no reason at all, you will be woken up by a low blood sugar. It is during these times that you will instinctively be able to find any kitchen in the dark. The best part is that this doesn’t apply to just your house. There will be times when you shuffle through relative and friend’s houses with your fingers crossed that they don’t think they are getting robbed. (In reality they are getting robbed…of juice and sweetness).
Get ready to catch up on late night TV during some of these nights when it seems like no matter what you eat is making your blood sugar rise. The infomercial industry is alive and well at 2:00am.
T1D Pro Tip: Insulin Pumps make fantastic flashlights. Use them often.
7. Diabetes Has A Personal Vendetta Against Teeth Brushing
I have lost count of how many times I come to bed after brushing my teeth only to check my sugars and see that I need to eat something before bed. It is truly like this disease is working for the toothpaste industry to help boost their sales.
Side note: I have also lot count of how many times my husband has told me that I should check my sugars before I brush my teeth. Your logic is useless against me!
8. Doorknobs And Cabinet Handles Will Be A Threat To Your Safety.
there is no household item that poses a greater threat to insulin pump tubing than a door or cabinet handle. At any given moment you can become a part of a Looney Tunes cartoon as you are wrenched backwards in midstep by your insulin pump tubing getting hooked on a doorknob. While it doesn’t hurt it will infuriate you every time.
This disease bites the big one and every one of us would love it if cinnamon truly could cure us, but it can’t. While social media works on the next miracle cure we all need to remember to laugh because this disease is too long and too tedious to be serious all the time. So the next time you find a test strip in your kids backpack or you find yourself watching Cheers reruns at 2:00am with a bowl of Cheerios in your hand, rest assured that we are all laughing along with you.
Press on new T1D, You Got This!