If you go back and read the tagline of Sweet Basal, you will see that the focus of this blog is “A Type 1 Diabetic Mom pursing life’s sweet moments.” Today was a pure example of how life as a Type 1 Diabetic Mom may result in hiccups of chaos. It is a life that most Type 1 Mamas live behind the scenes with most people completely unaware of the calculations and planning required just to keep up with the everyday chaos of motherhood.
Here’s how today went down…
Wake up and start our daily routine which now thankfully includes my kids making their own breakfast while I pack lunches. All is well, even had time to make their hair look cute rather than my typical “at-least-it’s-out-of-their-eyes” ponytail. The air was calm, the mood light…and then we got to piano practice. Hold on tight, the slide down this slope is a fast one.
One of my littles has a strong distaste for imperfection and today’s piano practicing was not easy. It required making a few mistakes on the way to perfecting this new skill.
My scrambled eggs are on the stove, my insulin bolus taken, and I hear the unmistakable huff, followed by “ARGGGHHHH! I don’t want to do this!!!” I look at my eggs. Sorry boys you’re going to be a bit overcooked today.
I made a feeble attempt to help which as usual just incites her rage. After a slammed door, tears, and a break in her bedroom she grunted her way through it but not without a constant reminder that “I don’t want to do this!!”
Hey look! The clock says we should have been in the car five minutes ago.
Hey look! I still have half of my overcooked eggs left on my plate.
Jam eggs in mouth and run out the door.
We made it in time and being that it is Wednesday I get to help in the kid’s classroom. This was fairly uneventful other than the butterflies that were emerging from their cocoons today. (So cool!!)
I headed to the gym, had a super hard leg workout, lunch and got a tiny bit of work done. It was finally sunny and warm so my pup and I headed out on our walk. My brain must have gotten lost in the bright sunshine because I clearly misjudged the time it would take to get back home.
This is where Diabetes and Momming began to crash together in a series of ridiculous disasters.
I cleaned out the girls closets over the weekend to make room for their summer clothes. This year I had the incredible luck of getting all their winter clothes sold online in a matter of days. Momming Victory!! Today I was meeting a lady at 2:45pm at the local hospital to sell her three bags of clothes.
I was about a quarter mile from my house. At 2:36pm my pump alarm went off to let me know that I my blood sugar was going low. I kid you not, 99.0% of the time my blood sugars run high after lunch. Timing is everything.
Time to rock my speed walking stride and book it home. I made it to the driveway, put Fiona in the car, and headed out. I don’t have a reason for why I didn’t down a few glucose tablets on the way there. Stupidity is the only possible explanation.
As I pulled into the hospital I parked near the clinic doors as this is where I always park for my doctor’s appointments. It never, even for one second, occurred to me that this lady might be waiting at another door.
I ran into the lobby with my plastic bags full of clothes looking like a crazed Black Friday shopper. I looked around, she’s not there.
Anyone want to guess where my phone is? In my car. I’m an Idiot.
The ladies at the desk asked if they could help and it didn’t take long before they helped me realize that she was likely waiting at the hospital doors…all the way down the hallway.
Pump alarm. Looks of concern tossed my way and I have to explain that I can’t get all the way down that hall because my sugars are crashing. Cue awesome front desk lady with a bag full of candy. (Why does she have so much candy anyway??) I grabbed a handful of super tasty treats and fill my cheeks as I took off to find the clothes lady.
The absurdity of this whole scenario is astounding me even as I type this, but this my friends is how this crazy Type 1 Mama life looks some days.
I did make it down the hall. I did not find the lady.
After a trip back down the never-ending hall and past the front desk, a.k.a. Candyland, I go back to my car and message the lady. No need to carry my classy plastic bags any further as she tells me to drive around the building and meet outside the doors on the on the other side of the building.
$20 in my pocket and blood sugars raised enough to drive home where I proceeded to take a luxurious 10-minute shower, pack after school snacks and a baton, and down some ice-cold apple juice before picking up the girls from school.
Perfect I Am Not
Well that was a blast! Thanks diabetes for adding such a great rush of delirium to my week. It honestly would have been a snooze without your contribution.
Truthfully, it was my fault. I tried to cram too much into too little time (what?!! Mom’s never ever do that!!!) and I didn’t bring my phone and bag with me.
I’ll accept the blame, I am not a perfect person or diabetic.
Still, it just amazes me on days like this that I now live a life that is almost completely based on the numbers I see on the machine on my hip. I live a life where I have to actually assess if I can physically walk down a hallway without eating something first. I live a life where I have to balance a kiddo’s meltdown with the fact that I already took my insulin and need to eat regardless of the fit being thrown in the other room. I live a life where cleaning closets comes with an insulin adjustment in order to avoid going low.
I also live a life where it is totally acceptable to take candy from strangers. Additionally, when they say take as much as I need, I do not hesitate to take a whole handful without a twinge of guilt.
Today was, in some ways abnormal, but in many ways, it was completely and totally typical. Diabetes strongest talent is unpredictability. You can eat the exact same thing, do the exact same thing, and take the exact same amount of insulin and get completely different results one day to the next.
They say there are 42 known things that can affect blood sugar levels. Honestly, today’s warmer temperatures or the heavy lifting workout I did five hours prior could have been the reason for the lower blood sugars.
Or…one of those butterflies in the kid’s classroom sneezed on me and it triggered a series of teeny tiny reactions within my body chemistry. There are some days when this feels like a perfectly logical explanation for out of control blood sugars.
And Now It’s Time To Say Good Night
The day ended with a soccer game at 6:00pm, dinner at 7:30pm, showers, a bedtime story and two sweet little people tucked into bed.
I am a mom. I am a diabetic. These two don’t always mesh perfectly but I can’t choose to take a day off of either one. This post is not in any way a request for sympathy. This is my life and despite its hiccups of chaos it is a beautiful life and I am proud to be part of the Type 1 Diabetic Mama’s club. We are a strong-willed, mighty bunch.
We cannot separate from some parts of our lives, but we absolutely can be strong enough to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.
Good Night Friends.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the kitchen. My pump alarm is going off and I need to eat again. Someone please tell my diabetes that I already brushed my teeth.
Please share Sweet Basal with anyone who may may share in these Hiccups of Chaos. I appreciate all that you do to support these late night musings.