It’s been 12 years and since I drove blurry eyed to the doctor for an annual check up and the doctor came into the room and said “We think you might have diabetes, but we’re going to run some more tests.” The weird part is I didn’t freak out and turn into a puddle of tears on the floor. Instead, I called my husband of only one year and told him what might have been causing the crazy thirst, blurred vision and exhaustion. His response? “My baby’s got the sugars!” In his finest southern grandmother voice.
Fast forward 12 years later and here I stand. A mom of incredible, healthy, twin seven year old girls, a wife to the most supportive and realistic husband I could ask for, and still a Type 1 Diabetic. After 12 years it still feels odd to say “I’m a Diabetic.” I still feel like I’m looking in from the outside despite the constant role this disease plays in every minute and every action of my day. But with 12 years of practice I have learned to let all the constant thinking become a background noise. A constant soundtrack that only occasionally gets to play louder than the true dialogue and script playing out in my life.
It didn’t start that way, and yes, some days diabetes pulls rank and demands your full attention as every insulin dose, exercise and food choice seems to make your blood sugar do the opposite of what you had planned. But my family and gradually growing inner strength makes me pull my head out of the sand and remember that tomorrow is a new day.
A basal rate is the continuous small amount of insulin being pushed into your body all day long based on your needs at that time. For non-diabetics this is accomplished automatically by the pancreas. My basal is programmed by my insulin pump thanks to my pancreas no longer working.
It is my hope that this blog will give me a place to share something beyond the visible basal rate on my pump and allow me to share my “inner basal”. A collection of the steady and never ending thoughts, calculations, fears, laughs, frustrations, and accomplishments that have become a part of everyday life since that one day 12 years ago when the docs said “we think you might have diabetes.”
So to those of you who have been with me on this crazy sugar train from the beginning, thank you. Without you I would be lost, and to those of you just joining me, let’s see where this thing goes next because the only certain thing is that today will be completely different then yesterday.
“Live the Life You’ve Imagined” No Matter What